


The Woman

by IndelibleSpock



Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: Episode: s01e28 The City on the Edge of Forever, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-06
Updated: 2015-11-06
Packaged: 2018-04-30 09:09:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,173
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5158190
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IndelibleSpock/pseuds/IndelibleSpock
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>James T. Kirk gets the most unexpected help after Edith Keeler's death.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Two Months

**Author's Note:**

> This is a result of hours watching The Twilight Zone. I ended up getting this idea and needing to write it down. What should have been a short story turned into this.

_A young woman, 32, arrived on the Enterprise expecting to take on a special assignment. She was here at the request of the Chief Medical Officer, who according to rumor, was begging across the universe for someone to help. She researched the ship and discovered how prone it was to occurrences of the abnormal, the supernatural, and the unknown. She would discover that the Enterprise was a death trap._

 

* * *

 

 

It had been two months. Two months since he had to stop himself from helping an innocent woman. Two months since he realized he hated everything about time travel. Two months of hating Bones who he blamed for the whole incident. Two months of avoiding Spock off-duty. Two months of hell that twisted inside his mind.

He woke up with a stretch and a yawn. “Computer, lights at 50 percent. Give me the day in brief.”

It was a rare morning that Jim Kirk did not wake up screaming. It was a rare morning where he was not thanking the designers of the ship for sound-proof rooms. He wasn’t grabbing his chest, feeling the rapid beating of his heart. This morning was calm.

The computer read off the daily briefing while Kirk checked some routine messages and dressed himself for another day as a starship captain.

“Good morning Captain Kirk. It is currently 06:00 hours, the Gregorian date is 31 October. In today’s news, there have been three Bird of Prey sightings at two Federation outposts, and Starfleet is implementing its new code of honor at the academy. In your current sector, there are three planets with cities experiencing historically devastating flooding and 42 planets are being hit by solar flares that may disrupt communications. Today, you are scheduled for alpha and beta shifts. At 09:00 hours you are asked to brief the new transfers as some of them are straight out of the academy. At 13:00 hours you are to report to sick bay for a psychological evalu-“

“Shut up computer.” He sat down at his desk. “Put me through to Doctor McCoy. Audio only.”

It took only a few seconds before McCoy answered. “What.”

“I’m scheduled for a psychological evaluation? When the hell were you planning to tell me?”

“I was planning to tell you when you were scheduled. You need one. Spock and I agreed— “

“So you and Spock are conspiring against me? If it weren’t for you, none of this would be happening!”

Kirk cut the connection to McCoy and stormed out of his room.

 

 

* * *

 

Spock was reading from a book while eating breakfast. Normally, the science officers he supervised would greet him with a friendly wave or say good morning to him. None of that happened in the past two months. Everyone who worked closely with Spock saw that even for him, he was far more quiet than usual.

The past two months Spock resorted to contemplation. He replayed the memories over and over trying to find a clue to justify both Kirk’s and McCoy’s reactions. Why Kirk didn’t want anything to do with him, he found it hard to justify with logic. Why Bones and Kirk were fighting was just as difficult to find a particular reason.

Humans, he had to admit, were sometimes insufferable.

Kirk sat down across from him. He started to eat his normal breakfast of bacon, eggs, and toast. Two things Kirk hadn’t done in two months: eat a decent, full meal and sit anywhere near Spock.

He mumbled.

“Excuse me, Captain?” Spock closed his book and gazed at the man who took no notice of him while off the bridge. He felt as if they were meeting for the first time.

“I’m sorry.”

Spock nodded. “It has occurred to me in my time of contemplation and reflection that people handle death differently. While I understand in theory, in reality it is difficult for me to fully comprehend such absurd behavior.”

Kirk sighed, and moved his tray out of the way. He lied his head down on the table and groaned. “Apology accepted, I guess?”

 

Across the room walked in Sulu, who was giving a tour to a young woman who had just transferred over from the nearest starbase. She was holding a rose that Sulu cut for her from the greenhouse, her uniform was blue.

“And I’m sure you must be starving. I can’t believe they made you wait that long!” Sulu brought her over to the replicators and they both got their breakfast.

“Oh don’t worry about it. Doctor McCoy looks like he’s a really busy guy.”

Sulu lead her over to a table where Officer Riley was sitting. He waved his hand when the two sat down, “move, just slightly to the left. I have a perfect view.”

“A perfect view of what,” the woman inquired.

Sulu looked behind them and saw Kirk’s head on the table while Spock was staring intently at him. “Oh no. Not again.” He leaned over to the woman, “Kevin has this soap opera thing going on in his head about the senior officers.”

She chuckled. “Oh my god, do you really?”

“Yeah, you bet I do. Only way to keep my head on straight. See the Vulcan, Commander Spock? Oh he’s madly in love with Captain Kirk. But the captain has no idea! And right now. Oh right now he’s totally thinking of kissing the captain.”

“I’m starting to think that you think it’s real,” Sulu shook his head. “Anyway, commissary is the best place to meet people. Everyone is extremely friendly.”

“That’s good to know. I mean, Hikaru if it weren’t for you, I’d feel so lost. Probably not the best feeling while traveling on a starship. I’m here to help people; I’ve got to be completely grounded before I can perform my duty.”

“Say,” Riley motioned towards the woman not breaking away from his miniature soap opera, “what’s your name anyway? Where are you from?”

“Name’s Edie. I’m from New York.”

 

* * *

 

Leonard McCoy rarely felt out of place in his sick bay. He rarely felt like he was going crazy. But this morning, the last of the new transfers passed through his place of work, and one of those transfers nearly made him pass out.

She walked in asking if she found the right place. He happily said that she had, and before he realized his smile was gone he was gaping at her in shock.

“What’s wrong?”

“N-nothing! Nothing at all. If you just step right into this room I can look you over and you’ll be good to go.”

He tried to ignore her brunette hair, her eyes, her soft complexion, her voice. They all sparked vivid memories of a feverish nightmare that happened two months ago. McCoy grabbed her file and gave it a look through.

**Edith “Edie” Keeler. 32. Graduate: Columbia University, Starfleet Academy. Last permanent residence: 983 apt 43, 21 st Street, New York City.**

McCoy nearly dropped the tablet he was holding. _Dear God. Let this be a dream. Let this all be a dream._

“I’m so excited to be on the Enterprise,” Edie lied down on one of the beds. “I’ve heard so many stories. I can’t imagine what it must be like to live through some of the things you all have. “

His tricorder picked up nothing out of the ordinary. She was healthy, physically and mentally. Before she left he told her thank you.

 

* * *

 

“Oh and here comes the evil genius doctor,” Riley snickered into his coffee cup.

Edie and Sulu looked behind them and saw Doctor McCoy enter the commissary. He grabbed Spock by the shoulder and mumbled something into his ear. Kirk looked up, he was tense.

“Yes, my dear first officer,” Riley spoke in an Italian accent, “you will never get your hands on your one true love if I have anything to do with it! I shall whisk you away and pump my EVIL narcotics into your body!”

Edie and Sulu couldn’t resist. They laughed hysterically as they covertly watched the scene that was playing out behind them. McCoy had grabbed Spock and indeed whisked him away from the commissary. Kirk sat up, and tried to finish his breakfast. He looked behind him and saw the two officers laughing while Riley was muttering something into his cup.

Kirk caught a glimpse of the woman sitting with Sulu and Riley. She looked familiar, but he thought his eyes were just tricking him. Two months of near insomnia was starting to wear him out. He picked up his tray and waltzed over to the trio.

“Fucking fuck fuck fuck fuck he probably knows now,” Riley whispered, watching Kirk make his way over to them. “We’re all headed for the brig. Mr. Bossypants is gonna blow.”

“Kevin you ever think he might want to say hello,” Sulu shook his head.

“To me? Never.”

Kirk plastered a smile full of sarcasm on his face. He sat next to Riley and cocked his head towards the navigator. “Heeeeeey Kevin. What’s goin’ on? Telling jokes at breakfast now?”

Riley furrowed his brows. “Kevin, sir?”

“I don’t really have to address you properly until shift starts in twenty minutes, do I? Just cause I’m captain doesn’t mean I have to what, be proper all the time? I mean, come on Kevin,” he wrapped his arm around the officer, squeezing him just a bit tighter than one would deem appropriate. “Buddy, pal, best friend! You’ve got these fine folks all—RILED—up. I’m just curious as to why!”

Edie bit her lip and avoided any kind of eye contact with Kirk. What a way to be introduced to the captain, she thought. What a way to inadvertently figure out where to start with him. At 13:00, she was scheduled to give him a psychological evaluation.

“Kevin was just telling us a story about the time he played an evil doctor in a play,” Sulu nodded. “It was pretty funny. He screwed up at the most dramatic scene!”

“Did he now,” Kirk glared at Sulu. He knew something was up. He knew Riley was saying something, because every morning there was a small group of people surrounding him, listening to his mutterings. It was only until now that the daily routine started bothering him.

“Right at the dénouement,” Edie joined in. She’d be upset at herself if she just sat by and let Riley take all the heat. Perhaps if the captain knew she was new, any sort of reprimand wouldn’t be too harsh. “He was preparing for his most important soliloquy. But then his pants fell down!”

“And everyone knew I wore briefs with rubber ducks on them,” Riley sighed. He owed Sulu and Edie for this.

Kirk didn’t hear a word Edie or Riley said. He was transfixed on Edie’s appearance. Her beautiful eyes, the curves of her cheeks, if he could just reach out and touch her one more time, maybe she’d come alive once more.

_Edith…_

The pain erupted in his heart. It ached. He remembered the darkness of that night. It was so dark. It was so cold. He had to do it, he told himself. Over and over he told himself that he had to do it.

So why was she sitting right in front of him, like nothing happened? Did she know him? He knew exactly who she was. He knew that Edith Keeler was staring back, just as transfixed as he.

“Oh my god,” he croaked. Kirk stumbled away from the table, and ran out of the commissary.  

 

* * *

 

 

“Spock, I know who I saw in there and it was Edith Keeler.”

McCoy paced around his office fumbling with a stylus. “I don’t get it. How is SHE here?”

“You must be mistaken, Doctor. She is dead. She cannot be on this ship.”

McCoy spun around and thrust himself in Spock’s face, bursting the Vulcan’s personal bubble. “Don’t you fucking tell me I’m mistaken! Have you checked the transfer logs! Her name! Her address! Her fucking degree is in line with the kind of help she provided!”

Spock leaned back in his chair trying to accommodate for space that the doctor would not allow between the two. He knew that there was a .000087 percent chance that Edith Keeler could be on the ship. But that chance was so slim, it was illogical to think it were true.

“I had not checked the logs. I am not on duty. I was going to do so at approximately 08:47, after I finished with other routine work.”

The doctor sighed and threw himself down into his own chair. He pulled up the file on Edie Keeler and passed it over to the Vulcan. “First it was Jim, now you’re slacking. I can’t save both of you and keep this ship from burning.”

“Doctor, I am sorry I doubted you,” he continued to examine the file. “If she is the woman that is to analyze the captain’s troubles—“

“He’s going to walk into the room and see her. He’s going to see her, recognize her, feel all that pain like it’s brand new. And it will be all my fault.”

Spock glanced up at McCoy, who had his head in his hands. The doctor had been trying diligently to keep watch over Kirk, despite being yelled at on a daily basis. Their working and personal relationships were balancing on a thin wire. Spock spent the past three days calculating what it would take to make their friendship completely fall apart.

“I’ve been trying so hard, Spock. So damn hard. He finds something every day to yell at me about. He makes it his goal in life to remind me that it’s my fault. That if I wasn’t so ‘careless’ we wouldn’t have known about the time traveling and we would have never met her. He would never have felt those feelings and everything would have been fine. I try so hard to ignore it.”

He raised his head and took a deep breath. “The only thing that’s kept me going is knowing that Jim will eventually get better. But it’s been two months. There hasn’t even been a slight improvement.”

“Yes, I am aware of the stagnation,” Spock said. “Doctor, I find that you are a strong and compassionate person undeserving of the captain’s hatred. But I will remind you of what you told me. The captain is grieving and it is in grief that humans are the most absurd in their reactions. In my contemplation over the past two months I have come to the conclusion that I believe the captain has no idea how to properly grieve the loss of a close companion. I believe that he might be grieving about all those he previously lost, in addition to Edith. I too wish the captain to be at his most efficient. I too wish that my friend is well, and that my friend can be my friend once again.

“Doctor, maybe talking to her might be the best chance we have. She is a familiar face. The captain might be able to latch onto that familiarity and discuss his thoughts more clearly.”

“Is it Logical, Spock?”

“I cannot let logic dictate something as illogical as human emotion. Not this time. No, I believe what is logical here is emotional. Like the term, ‘fight fire with fire.’ We must use emotion as a tool. Since I am not properly equipped, I must rely on you.”

There was a crash outside of McCoy’s office. Both the Doctor and the Science Officer ran to the door. It slid open, and Kirk was grasping one of the tables, his eyes wide in frenzy.

“Edith Keeler is on this ship!” He fell to his knees. “She was here! She was sitting right in front of me!” Kirk wrapped his arms around himself and finally, after two months of holding it in, he began to cry.

“She was here, she was here,” he repeated.

Spock and McCoy sat next to him on the floor. The Vulcan was out of his comfort zone, wondering what to do. He vaguely remembered how humans consoled a friend, and slowly he wrapped his arms around Kirk.

“Spock,” Kirk’s voice shook, “I saw her. I saw her. She was so full of life. Am I going insane? Am I seeing things?”

“It is no delusion, Jim.”

He pulled away from Spock’s embrace. “How the hell is that possible?”

“I don’t know how it’s possible,” McCoy grumbled, “but she’s aboard: alive and well.”

McCoy offered the tablet to Jim who took it. He looked at the information, his hands shaking. “Bones?”

“I recommended for a psychologist to come aboard for awhile to talk to you. I needed someone that was well-equipped with debriefing officers who had gone through hard times. Her record is perfect for that. Jim, if I had any idea—“

“Good job, McCoy,” Kirk spat. “Overlooking an important fact.” He scrambled to his feet, he wiped the tears from his cheeks and eyes. “And what about you!? You are conspiring with him, aren’t you!?”

Spock tilted his head in response to Kirk’s glare. He was still on the floor, right next to McCoy. When he looked up at Kirk, his fear and anger were more apparent than they had been the past two months. He thought it were better for the captain to lose his way in private, rather than on the bridge.

“Captain, I will not say that I whole-heartedly believe in destiny or fate, but I do believe that Edith Keeler’s presence here is not just a coincidence. You may find it beneficial to connect with her once more.”

“Jim,” McCoy pleaded, “give this a chance. All you really need is closure. Find a way to make peace with everything. This is starting to tear you down; I can see it.”

Kirk dropped the tablet to the floor. “I would prefer if both of you did not bother me for the rest of the day.”

He took a mighty breath and straightened his posture. Kirk was becoming highly skilled at pretending he was fine. No one on the ship aside from Spock and McCoy knew anything, and none of his crew should be concerned about him.

 

Edie had been staring at a photo that was hanging on the wall. It was a deadpan photo of the New York skyline. She wondered how someone was able to take a city that was vibrant with clashing cultures and make it unbearably loud with silence.

Then again, people and things were loudest when they’re silent and when they’re desolate.

The door chimed right at 13:00.

“Come in,” Edie sang. She grabbed her stylus and turned around to take a seat, but she stopped suddenly when she saw Kirk standing in the doorway looking less like a captain, and more like a weary man lost in a thick fog.

He was again entranced by her presence. Even the way this Edith carried herself, was identical to that of the Edith he knew. Were her hands just as delicate?

“Please, sit down if you’d like. Do you want any water, tea? Or maybe coffee?”

“No,” Kirk shook his head and balled his hands up into fists, “I—“

“Yes?”

Kirk ran a hand through his hair, he couldn’t help but chuckle and smile. In all of space, in all of the weirdest things he’s seen and experienced, fate had given him another chance.

“It’s crazy really. You look so much like a woman I used to know.”

She finally turned herself all the way around and closed the gap between herself and Kirk. She felt somewhat odd being in the room alone with him. He was after all the captain, but he was so vulnerable right now. He wasn’t the face of morale here.

But that face felt strangely familiar to gaze upon.

“Is that a good or a bad thing, captain?”

His muscles tensed and he could feel her eyes penetrating that shell he was trying to build for himself.

“It’s alarming. I thought I’d never see her again.”

An hour before Kirk came in for his appointment, Edie had looked over his file and the supplemental material Doctor McCoy provided her. To get a good grasp on what she needed to focus on during this session she asked the doctor what exactly was his problem.

_“He lost someone important to him and he’s not exactly taking it well. For the past two months he’s shut himself out from the rest of the ship. I’d like to help him get back to his old cheery self. At least get him to a point where he can function. I really don’t want to take him off duty.”_

“Is this the woman you’re grieving over?”

He dropped into a chair and held his head in his hands. Of course she knew. Of course McCoy would have told her what she needed to know. He should have known better. This was not going to be easy.

“Captain?”

“Yes. Yes she’s the same woman I’m—“ He lifted his head, taking another look at her. “I keep thinking you’re going to tell me this is all a joke and you didn’t leave me. But you don’t know me. You’ve never seen me before, have you?”

“Aside from your name and rank, I’m afraid I don’t know anything about you.” She sat in the chair next to his. “What happened to her?”

Oh he could have told her the whole story. The incident on the bridge and the time portal on the planet. He could have told her that Edith Keeler was the most important person on Earth in 1930. But as far as anyone knew, nothing happened, and it was true. Nothing of the sort changed. What happened to him didn’t exist.

“Nothing. She lived her life and I’m living mine.”

“Past tense?”

Once again he was on the verge of tears. “She died. It was a horrible accident that I wish never happened. Or at least one I didn’t have to witness.”

“That explains this morning in the commissary. It explains why you’re not looking at me.”

Kirk twisted in his chair, uncomfortable with confronting his actions. His eyes were watering, they burned with the tears that he was trying to contain. His throat throbbed in pain because he was trying so hard not to let that knot slip.

She took a few notes to make sure she remembered certain aspects of the conversation. The subtle nuances of Kirk’s movements: how he moved his hands and how his breathing changed.

“What was her significance to you?”

That question tore through him. Significance? If only she knew. But the thought kept growing and growing. This Edie had to be HIS Edith.

“Edith, seriously.” He dropped to his knees, right in front of her. “It’s me, Jim! Don’t you remember me?!”

 

* * *

 

“How did it go?”

McCoy mixed her a Manhattan, his own way of coping with whom he was talking to at the moment. He had been drinking from his own stash of brandy. He sat in the chair next to hers, both their drinks set atop his desk.

“He’s convinced I’m someone he knew. He’s convinced that even though the person died, I am that person.”

He laughed nervously. “Y-you don’t say!”

She mentally noted his reaction. “Doctor, people tend to make things up when they’re in distress. Whatever happened was so traumatic that he’s projecting that woman’s appearance on to me. Did he tell you want happened two months ago?”

His shaky hand grabbed the glass of brandy. He finished off the drink and with a hearty thump, he set the glass back on his desk. “Nothing happened. It was just an accident. I was there. He was there. Commander Spock was there. I could have helped her, but they stopped me.”

This was what McCoy wrestled with every night before bed. He had this memory of Edith Keeler. He had the memories of her nursing him back to health. But there was one memory he had that he could not pull out from his mind. He knew something happened, when he thought about everything in full, but when he tried to single out that one moment, he could conclude only one thing: nothing happened.

In Leonard McCoy’s mind, Edith Keeler was alive once, and then after facing a penultimate decision (one that he couldn’t remember), she was dead.

“Helped her? Helped her with what? Doctor, please tell me. I need to know what happened, it’s the only way I can help.”

“That’s the thing. I don’t know. She was alive, and then she was dead.”

“Do you know anything about her? Her name, where she lived? The captain called me Edith. No one ever calls me Edith.” She grabbed her own drink and a took a swig. “I can only assume he wouldn’t have known because our files include pictures. He wouldn’t have been so accosted by my appearance this morning if he looked through it. Doctor McCoy, was her name Edith?”

McCoy’s slightly inebriated mind was only capable of lying. He shook his head. “Doctor Keeler, I have no recollection of that woman’s name.”

 

* * *

 

“Happy Halloween!”

Sulu thrust a fog-producing drink into Edie’s hands. He was dressed up along with two other helmsmen as the Three Musketeers. He went on about how the helmsmen had an alliance. “We make this ship go, we must stick together!”

For most of the day, the crew was busy decorating unessential decks for their Halloween party. It was so popular on the ship, the halls were filled with costumed people laughing and having a merry time. The first year Halloween was celebrated on The Enterprise it was contained to a single room. Over the years the tradition grew, and the crew looked forward to one night of trickery.

Edith always enjoyed the holiday. Her favorite part was handing out candy to the neighborhood children. Tonight though, she was happy to participate in the costumed frenzy.

“A 1920s flapper, eh?” Sulu took her by the waist and lead her deeper through the decorated hallway.

“Yes, it’s prohibition and I’ve come looking for some alcohol. So Mr. Sulu, is this how The Enterprise celebrates every holiday?”

“Of course it is! The best parties in the fleet happen right here.”

Edie forgot all about the day’s previous trials. She forgot about the misinformation she was given. She forgot how embarrassed she felt getting lost on one of the decks. Tonight she felt at home. The people on this ship were some of the most kind and well-rounded people she’d ever met. Their talents went far beyond their work, and they never feared to let everyone know.

Her fears and worries went away, until she stumbled onto the observation deck.

It was quiet. As a general rule on The Enterprise, the observation deck wouldn’t be part of any festivities. It was reserved as a place to look at the stars and reflect.

She turned around and watched the stars trail past, and then she saw the golden shirt of her captain. He had his forehead glued to the window, but he knew someone was there with him.

If Edie didn’t have those three glasses of punch she wouldn’t have approached him or lightly touched his shoulder. She would have quietly walked away and let him be.

“You’re not taking part in the festivities?”

“Nah. I don’t feel like partying.” He grinned. “There will be more.”

“Ah, but Halloween you get to dress up and be someone you’re not.”

Kirk straightened and looked down at his uniform. “Well if you put it that way, then this is a perfect costume for me.” His face softened, the slight glimmer in his eyes were gone. The depression was more apparent than ever.

“I haven’t been acting much like a captain lately. I should be walking my ship and talking with my crew. They’re my family. But what am I doing? I’m constantly thinking about Edith.”

“Edith? Was that her name?”

He held her shoulders. “It’s bizarre isn’t it? You’re supposed to help me and you end up having the same everything as her.” A flash of happiness streaked across is face. “In all of time and space, and here you are.”

She wasn’t sure if it was the alcohol or any other trick, but a small ache settled into her chest. The familiarity was there again. Kirk holding her shoulders, and the forced prolonged contact made her feel more comfortable. It was the odd feeling that this had happened before.

“You know,” he broke contact with one of her shoulders and pressed his hand on the window, “she would always talk about the universe and how the stars held our future. She had so much hope. Even in the darkest hour, she was so positive. She had to be.”

“Edith sounds like she was a wonderful person.”

It was a stark contrast. Earlier in the day Kirk had been crying at the mention of her name. They ended the session with him on the floor begging her not to leave him alone. Now he was smiling and he was cheerful. He was remembering Edith in a much healthier manner.

“One of the best people I’ve ever met. God, I loved her so much.”

Love? So that was why he was having such a hard time. It was a strong emotion and one that she succumbed to herself. She knew heartbreak, but she couldn’t empathize with losing a loved one. Maybe if she could be more casual about the topic she could find out more information.

“Do you have a picture of her? I’d love to see the person who captured your heart.”

Kirk brushed a thumb along her jawline. “I don’t need one. I’m looking at her right now.”

The ache in her chest grew. From a small throb to a painful blow. The pain forced her knees to buckle, and she fell against Kirk who caught her. Tears rolled down her cheeks. Maybe he wasn’t human. Maybe he was manipulating her.

“Who the hell are you?”

 

* * *

 

If last night hadn’t happened, she wouldn’t be standing in the turbolift on the way to bridge. She wouldn’t have contemplated interrogation. She wouldn’t have needed to talk to Commander Spock.

Uhura greeted her with a small smile. Kirk turned around and watched her approach Spock. He didn’t say a word, nor did he call attention to her presence.

“Commander Spock, may I speak with you?”

He stopped his monitoring, carefully taking note where he left off in his process. “What is it Miss Keeler?”

Kirk hated how Spock can say her name so easily.

“Oh well, I would prefer to discuss the matter in my office. I have much to inquire about.”

Spock glanced at Kirk who was again facing forward, trying too hard to not notice the conversation. “Certainly Miss Keeler.”

 

“Commander Spock, I’m aware that you know why I am here, so I do not have much to explain to you. But I am starting to get the feeling that both Captain Kirk and Doctor McCoy are not telling me the entire story. If I am to make a proper psychological evaluation, I must have all available information at my disposal. As the chief science officer, you’re very aware of that.”

“What do you need to know?”

“What happened two months ago?”

Spock intertwined his fingers. Of course it was illogical to lie, but it was not illogical to withhold information. While everyone was partying for Halloween, he was in command. And while in command he had a bit of time to meditate. If Officer Edie Keeler knew about Edith Keeler, how would that effect her? And if he thought about the issue on a larger scale he wrestled with whether he was asking a question about rifts in time or if he was asking about psychology.

He had no real conclusive data about who Edie Keeler was. Her life in the present resembled and differed from the Edith Keeler in 1930. Edie could be a reincarnation, and if so did her existence impact time? If Edie wasn’t, but was the product of coincidences only the large expanse of the universe could create, then the psychological discomfort of knowing she resembled a dead woman was not worth it.

“Nothing happened two months ago.”

She banged her fist on the table. “That is the same bullshit I got from Kirk and McCoy. Nothing happened, but regardless it did. So Mister Spock, what didn’t happen? What is the one specific thing related to this whole mess that did not happen?”

Her logic was something to be appreciated. Spock closed his eyes. He vividly saw the scene replaying in his mind. The shrieks, the cars, McCoy wondering why Kirk told him he couldn’t do his job and save a person’s life. Out of the three, Spock was the only one who remembered the exact events. He willed himself to remember it.

And while in their current timeline, nothing happened, yet Spock willed the event to exist.

“Edith Keeler would still be alive.”

She laughed. “Mister Spock, I don’t know what kind of joke you’re trying to play, but that is one of the most absurd—“

“Miss Keeler. Vulcans would never partake in jokes at the expense of others. I am telling you what did not happen. Edith Keeler did not die. Edith Keeler lived and she loved James T. Kirk very much.”

 

* * *

 

“Computer, I need the obituary of Edith Keeler. Time: around two months ago.”

“There is no obituary for the aforementioned name in that time span.”

Edie sighed and settled down into her desk. “Okay then, broaden the time span.”

“There are four obituaries related to Edith Keeler.”

“What are the dates?”

“2152, 2040, 1990, and 1930.”

“But none from this current year?” She pursed her lips. “Computer, display them for me.”

She casually swiped through the obits. Every swipe, her heart sank further into her stomach. She didn’t read the text, because each obit had a photo. Each photo was like staring into a mirror.

“C-computer,” her voice cracked. The similarity was disturbing. “Calculate all similarities between the obituaries’ content.”

“Listing similarities. Name: Edith Keeler. All residences were on 21st Street, all on Earth. All obituaries state the deceased died at the age of 32 with significant internal bleeding as the cause for death.”

The pictures, the ages, the addresses. It was the same person living and dying in the span of 222 years. She started to believe, just like Kirk started to believe. Maybe she was Edith Keeler.

She was 32. Her birthday was five months away. Will her fate be that of these other women? Her fate rested on her belief, but she couldn’t throw away a chance at helping someone. That’s all she ever wanted to do with her life.

 

McCoy deeply gazed into Edie’s somber eyes. Earlier she messaged him about a treatment plan that was “unorthodox.”

“Miss Keeler? Are you alright?”

She was visibly shaken. McCoy noticed how pale and clammy she was. His kneejerk reaction kicked in. He grabbed a tricorder and scanned her.

“I think I must have worked too hard, doctor. I’m feeling ill and a bit distraught. But this meeting isn’t for me, this is for the captain.”

“And what did you conclude?” He started to analyze the scan.

“I believe Captain Kirk will remain fit for duty if I stay on this ship. If he—truly believes I am the woman he lost, then I will allow him to get proper closure.”

“What, by schmoozing up to him? Just take him back, and lie to him? I can’t let you lie to him like that!”

“I assure you,” she held her chest, the ache was back. “I don’t think I’d be lying. You asked to bring me here to do whatever it took to help your friend. I intend to help him.”

 

* * *

 

Kirk whistled down the hallway to his quarters. Today had been a rather uneventful one. He was ready to finish up some reports and go to sleep. For once he felt tired, and for once he didn’t fear shutting his eyes.

But he figured his plans were cancelled when he saw Edie sitting on the floor outside his room, staring blankly at the wall in front of her.

“Doctor Keeler,” he grinned and knelt down. “If you needed something you should have just called.”

“It would be wrong to keep you from your job.” Edie kept her eyes on the wall. “Plus I was busy calculating your treatment.”

“My treatment? What, are you going to feed me antipsychotics or something?”

That thought was disturbing to her. She was a doctor, willing to help people and refrain from using drugs. They were only a last resort. Was Kirk that hopeless? Had he given up to the point where he was no longer willing to work hard for his own sanity? Edie glared at him.

“I only resort to such barbaric measures when there’s nothing left. And there’s still plenty left for you.” She sighed, “we need to discuss a few things. There’s little chance you’d understand your treatment until I explain my process.”

He invited her into his quarters. She gave him a file of information to look through. Edie watched intensely at Kirk’s face for any kind of reaction. If the muscles in his forehead twitched or he chewed the inside of his cheek, she wanted to know.

Kirk read through all the documents, the obituaries, Edie’s notes, and records from her conversations with both Spock and McCoy. He figured out what the documents were trying to prove, but it wasn’t as obvious as he’d like. He knew this woman was Edith. He knew it in his heart, but seeing the circumstantial evidence, his belief started to subside.

“It’s easier sometimes to believe in something based purely on intuition.” He kept looking through the documents, hoping that his eyes were tricking him, hoping that something was different. It was easy to believe for the sake of himself. But now that Edie was sitting in his quarters, suffering from the realization that she may only be a series of reincarnations, making himself believe that she was his Edith was difficult.

“Sometimes it’s better to go through life without certainty,” she replied. “But here we are. You have your woman back, and I finally know my true purpose in life.”

“And what’s that?”

Edie smiled. She grabbed her chair and pulled it closer to Kirk. Their knees touched, she held his hand in hers. “You’ve been stuck in the past; you’ve forgotten the future. I’m going to give you something to look forward to. So I offer myself. I offer my friendship.”

“Edie, this is practically giving up your life!”

“Is it really? Four out of four times, Edith Keeler dies at the age of 32 with internal bleeding from various accidents. It’s very unlikely I’d be the one Edith Keeler who lives. For some reason, the universe wants Edith Keeler dead, even if she keeps coming back.

“And you know what? If that’s fate, then I won’t let it stop me from living. Giving up on life and continuing to exist without purpose is worse than death. There’s so many bad things that happen, but without the bad we can’t appreciate the good.”

Kirk squeezed her hand. It had been 300 years since he last heard that same speech about hope and in 300 years it was still relevant.

“Plus,” Edie continued. “This right here feels so familiar. Maybe I’m experiencing what all those other Ediths felt.”


	2. Four Months

It had been four months. Four months since Doctor Edie Keeler arrived on The Enterprise and learned of her fate. Four months since she talked to Jim Kirk about his grief. Four months since she recommended to Doctor McCoy that she stay on the ship and allow Kirk to find proper closure. Four months since Edie discovered that there was a hint of adoration left over from a previous life.

Kirk apologized profusely to McCoy. Two weeks ago something in him snapped and he realized how petty and misdirected his anger was. A week ago he learned that he shouldn’t have been angry at all for the duration he was.

“Life happens, Jim,” Edie said over breakfast one morning. She had taken to sitting with him and Spock. “It’s not worth being angry about. I mean if you’re going to keep dwelling and direct your anger on to other people, then why are you even in Starfleet?”

 

* * *

 

Kirk woke up at 06:00. Instead of asking the computer to give him a daily briefing, he asked to ring up Edie.

“Why do you wake up so early?” Edie rubbed her eyes. It was like this every morning. Kirk would send a wakeup call to Edie, Edie would complain and Kirk would promise her the best latte in the universe.

“Edie, we’re going on a trip today.”

“A trip?”

“We’re due to stop at Galelious later. I figured you might want to come down with the landing party and study its citizens.”

“Sounds interesting. You’ll have to tell me all about this place during breakfast.” She gave Kirk a wide grin before she ended the call.

“As if he only wants to do work down there.” Edie quickly pinned her hair up and threw on her uniform. Before she met Kirk for breakfast, she always joined the rest of the crew in the commissary for another one of Kevin Riley’s installments of his soap opera.

She rushed into the room and took her normal place at the table right across from Riley. “Okay. Now that I’m here, what’s the latest? Is our science officer going to admit to himself he’s capable of jealousy?”

“He would never admit to jealousy! That’s not his way,” Sulu chimed in.

“Hey now! Who’s telling the story here,” Riley picked up his cup of coffee as he always did so he could covertly tell his story, without worry of anyone else reading his lips.

The stories Riley told manifested from slices of life to an intricate complicated story. The science officer wasn’t just in love with his captain, but he was jealous of his position. Everyone loved the captain. Everyone was willing to die for him, and the science officer felt as though no one felt that way about him. Four months ago, these little stories revolved around observations from the bridge or elsewhere Riley saw the senior officers. Now the characters have taken their own form. It wasn’t sadistic storytelling about their commanding officers anymore.  

“It’s quite sad, really.” Riley gestured over to Spock, who was again reading a book while eating his meal. “He loves him so much he gets easily distracted. He loves him so much that in his desperation to conceal his feelings he’s neglected their friendship. The captain thinks he’s hated by his best friend!”

There were gasps from the group. Edie placed a hand over her mouth. “But that’s so sad! How could he forget such an important relationship?”

“Please tell us he actually knows the consequences.” Sulu gripped his own cup of coffee. “Kevin, if you kill one of them off, I swear I am going to make the next eight hours so miserable for you.”

“Oh no, the captain and the first mate don’t die. But someone does.” He took a sip of his coffee, wrinkled his nose in his dissatisfaction, and stood up. “That story is for some other time though. Until next time everyone. I need to prepare for a tough day.”

The group disbursed as Riley left. Sulu sighed and then grinned at Edie. “That was disappointing. I wanted more.”

“I thought you hated these stories.”

“On the record, I hate them. I think they’re demeaning to the real people these characters are based off of. Off the record,” he shrugged, “I’m a sucker for drama!”

Edie squeezed Sulu on the shoulder. “I’ll talk to you later. I’ve got a breakfast date.”

She was about to walk over to Spock and wait for Kirk to arrive, but Sulu grabbed her wrist to stop her. “Should you really be dating the captain? I thought you’re working here as a psychologist?”

“I am working, Hikaru. It’s a bit unorthodox, I know.” She laughed. “Doctor’s orders.”

Sulu watched her greet Spock. He suspected there was something more she wasn’t saying. Of course he respected their privacy, but he was curious.

 

* * *

 

They were walking down a crowded street. The sun was starting to set behind the vast snow-topped mountains that overlooked the city they beamed down to. It was a classic mountain town like those on Earth, filled with tourists happily shopping and enjoying various winter sports. It was such a calming place, Kirk ordered shore leave for anyone who wanted it.

Hand-in-hand, they held their day’s worth of shopping. While Edie had only a necklace made from natural crystals found in the mountains, Kirk had about five books in his arms. She grabbed a couple and held them.

“I told you to bring a bag.”

“Yet another thing I’d have to carry.”

“Jim that makes no sense.”

He teasingly rolled his eyes. “Okay Doctor Keeler. You’re right, I should have come prepared.”

“You know, I never suspected you were the bookish type. I never imagined watching you balance on a broken ladder to get a dusty green book from the top shelf, only to be dissatisfied that it was in a language you couldn’t comprehend.” Edie opened the book she was referring to. “And yet you still bought it.”

“Maybe I’ll get Spock to help me with it. He’s great at figuring out language patterns and such. And if that doesn’t work out, then maybe Uhura can read it to me.”

She closed the book and opened the other one she was carrying. “And this one, a side-by-side translation of ‘A Farewell to Arms’ in both Federation Standard and Galelian. How the hell did this even get here?”

“And that’s why it’s so intriguing! This place is primitive compared to what we’re used to, but relatively speaking the Galelians are much more open-minded than we ever were.” He linked arms with Edie and lead them into a small bakery. “I do think reading Hemingway in another galactic language will be quite amazing.”

The bakery was selling off the last of their inventory before closing for the evening. There was a small line of people eagerly choosing which baked good they wanted. There were a few other personnel from the Enterprise in line, and some Federation diplomats on layover.

“You know what will be amazing,” peering into the glass case she pointed out what she wanted, “that black and white cookie. I hope they’re as good here as they are in New York.”

The bell on the door chimed, alerting everyone to a new customer. A man walked into the shop and stood near the window. He had his hands shoved into his coat pockets and he watched the pedestrians outside walk to their destinations. The man shivered and shook his head. He turned it to see everyone in line looking at him. His aura was icy cold, it brought the temperature of the small shop down.

He shivered again and this time he faced the group of people. His eyes scrutinizing every person who was wearing a Starfleet uniform.

“What are we to you,” he growled. “Dumb animals on safari for you to point at!? This planet should have never joined the Federation!”

The man pulled out a gun from his right pocket. In response, the officers from the Enterprise pulled out their phasers and fired, just as the man pulled the trigger.

Everyone in line tried to jump out of the way and take cover. Edie pivoted in front of Kirk.

“JIM,” she screamed, her voice competing with the loud bang of the explosion. Edie’s body was flush against Kirk’s. He was holding her up by the elbows.

“Restrain him,” he commanded to his crew, looking at the two officers who were stunned themselves.

The pair Federation diplomats scuffled over to Kirk and Edie, while the officers put the suspect in restraints.

“Sir,” one of the diplomats spoke, panicked. “The lady sir! We need to help her!”

Kirk mumbled. He realized how much support he was providing her. “Edie! Edie, come on, come back to me Edie!”

“We need to stop the bleeding.” One of the diplomats removed part of his robe and pressed the fabric onto the small of Edie’s back.

“Jim,” Edie breathed, “you’re not hurt are you? I saw him staring right at you.” She yelped in pain as the diplomat pressed harder into her back. “I can’t feel my legs at all.”

He was using all of his strength to keep her upright. Kirk would have elected to lie her on the floor, but the loss of feeling in her legs indicated to him there was possible spinal injury. He’d have to hold her in this exact position until they got back to the ship, where McCoy could better handle the situation.

“I need one of you,” he looked between the two elderly diplomats, “grab the communicator on my belt. Open it, and hold it for me. I need to contact my ship.”

The diplomat who hadn’t been applying pressure to Edie’s injury did what he was requested of.

“Kirk here. I need emergency standby in the transporter room. Doctor McCoy MUST be there and sickbay MUST be prepared for emergency surgery. Keeping transmission open for standby. I’ll give the signal momentarily.”

All the while, everyone else in the shop had slowly gotten back to their feet. Some were in shock, so distraught they weren’t sure if they needed to ask to help out in some way. A few patrons had left the shop to go get an enforcement officer.

“Sir,” Kirk directed his attention to the other diplomat. “You’ll have to beam up with us. I can’t take any risk.”

Edie gripped Kirk’s arms, digging her nails into his skin. Where there was pain, it surpassed any kind she had felt before in her life.

And it was spreading.

He gritted his teeth, “energize!”


	3. One Year

One year. One year since Kirk held Edie in his arms as she was slowly dying. Once year since she was carted away into sickbay where the good doctor did all he could to stop the bleeding. One year since he stood over her lifeless body and slowly shut the lids of her eyes.

“Good morning, Captain Kirk,” the computer tirelessly read off once more. “It is 06:00 hours and the Gregorian date is 14 February. In today’s news, convicted murderer Tomalous Portre is to be in court facing a sentencing hearing for the murder of a Starfleet psychologist last year. No word if the Galelian government will take into consideration The Federation’s suggestions or allow extradition.”

“Computer, stop. I don’t want to hear it.”

Kirk dressed himself in complete silence. He reviewed a few messages, every now and then looking up at his bookcase. They were all arranged in perfect order, compartmentalized for a maximum aesthetic, aside from the five books still in evidence bags.

His hand hovered over one of the evidence bags; the one that contained the necklace Edie bought that day. He hastily opened the bag and pulled the jewelry out, examining the crystals. It would make a good decorative piece for his desk.

He was told to go to sickbay, so he obliged, despite his stomach’s protest for food. When he entered, McCoy threw a box of candy hearts at him. Kirk hardly had time to react, he caught the box in his arms.

“Oh, tough break Jim. Spock was much faster than you!”

Kirk took note of his surroundings. Sickbay was decorated in hearts, both of the comical and anatomical kind. McCoy was at his desk, surrounded by boxes of candy hearts. Spock was leaning back in a chair with his feet up on the desk, inspecting each and every last of the box’s contents.

“Of course, Vulcans’ reflexes are faster than humans’. What I do not seem to understand is why a candy that has the same consistency of an antacid is mass produced and marketed to children.”

“Spock, you’re asking the same question people have been asking for centuries.” Kirk leaned on McCoy’s desk and laughed until tears rolled down his cheeks. He was so grateful for his friends.

If they hadn’t been there for him this past year, he would have been in the same place he was a year and six months ago.  And that was something Edie taught him. McCoy and Spock were his closest friends and his closest family. If he gave up on them, that meant he’d give up on himself. Why would he be able to rely on her, but not the two people who had been loyal to him the longest?

“Hey Jim,” McCoy murmured, “Spock and I just want to wish you well today.”

“Thanks. I uh, I’ll need it.”               

“Would you like us to accompany you,” Spock asked.

Kirk shook his head. “No. I need to do this on my own. You two have been there for me a lot lately. But testifying at this guy’s sentencing hearing is something I need to do for myself. You know, that whole ‘finding the strength inside myself’ thing McCoy’s been preaching.”

The two nodded in agreement. Instead of falling into an awkward silence, Spock went back to investigating the candy hearts. McCoy continued to pester him.

“Spock nothing has changed from the time you stopped looking at them until now. Give it a break.”

“Doctor, how do they approve what messages to put on these candies?”

It was an unspoken rule to never let the silence come between them again. It nearly ruined all three of them.

Kirk headed for the sickbay entrance. McCoy called to him. “Jim, this might be too personal, but you’re handling everything better this time. I’m curious, as your doctor, and as your friend. What’s changed?”

He placed his hand on the door, closed his eyes and smiled. “Bones, she saved my life. I owe it to her. And I can’t owe her a life I pity. I owe her a hopeful one. So instead of dwelling on the past, I’m looking to the future.”

 

_Edith “Edie” Keeler, 32, died for the fifth time from a gunshot wound to the spine. Her existence defied the laws of the universe, because of three men. One who birthed her existence through love, another who kept her alive through guilt, and the other who killed her with the sheer will of a memory of something that never happened._

_“Who knows,” she rested her head against Kirk’s, her voice so faint he had to be that close just to hear a whisper. “I might come back.”_


End file.
